I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
She said her name was "party"
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
we made out on top of his cat.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Randomize
