I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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