I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
