Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
