my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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