Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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