All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I deserve this hangover.
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