i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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