Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Also, beer. Big fan.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
