3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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