everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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