I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
