hell yes lets make some ravioli
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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