Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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