i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
