I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
