i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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