Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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