I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize