you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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