she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
