Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize