dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Randomize
