): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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