Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
