i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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