I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
nutella sex= disaster
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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