i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
