My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize
