So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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