is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
