There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
