It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
