my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Randomize
