It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
