So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
