she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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