i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
