I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
