I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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