I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
