I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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