did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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