Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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