Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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