In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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