I can't watch pbs sober anymore
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
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