I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
