You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Randomize
