Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
