Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
