You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
