brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize