just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
