Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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