i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
