Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
