i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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