So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Randomize
