do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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